Dear New Mama

My friend is about to give birth to her first baby, so this morning I penned (text)  her a quick note wishing her a first “Happy Mother’s Day.” It got me thinking about about the things she is about to feel, all the ways she is about to change and never, ever be the same again. I also realized no one ever told me those things where about to happen. 

They don’t tell you as a new expecting mother that the very best day, the most powerful day you will ever experience is only months out. You thought your wedding day was special, that won’t even hold a candle to this next moment. They don’t tell you that there is a love that is unexplainable, un imaginable in force, a love that ignites at very first glance and never, ever, ever stops propelling you forward. This love does not fade. It does not mirror the love of your life, or that of your dearest person. This love physically changes the chemistry in your body and radically alters your decision making ability.   

What you don’t know yet is this love, this job called motherhood will blur the lines between sanity and total abandonment to logic. This new job you find yourself with will lay claim to every single fiber, every ounce of your being and you will willingly hand it over without hesitation or regard for your former self. Down the road some when you have noticed you have lost bits of who you where to this love, you may need to find some recourse, some balance. When this happens will be different for each new mother, but know this – you are also not alone in this quest. Try and remember the point of this love was to utterly change you into a better, different version of yourself, and the this unique gift given to you should be held with an open hand. For we don’t know the number of days we get to hold this love in the flesh. So, be gentle on yourself and don’t fight too hard to return to a ‘normal’ that no longer exists on purpose. After all, this is part of the magic of this love. 

They tell you you will wear funny undies after birth and your boobs will look like yesterday’s party balloons once you finish nursing, but nothing and no one can tell you or prepare you for the tidal wave that is about to completely obliterate the landscape of your heart. Mother’s of sons. Mother’s of daughters. Mothers of other mothers babies. Mother’s who died in the wake of bringing you forward. Mothers would longed for you for decades before laying eyes on you. Mothers who never even got to see you, mothers who brought you forth only to return you in the next breath. These are all our mother’s. This love that was given to them sustains all of humanity. There is no force like that of a mother. 

Happy Mother’s Day.

Love,

Pinz xoxo